Inspiration: Asparagus

A simple bundle of asparagus,
Bought because it was on sale.
And I did something I rarely do-
Cooked a couple meals for myself.

Those who know me well,
Will attest to the fact that I am an unwilling chef.
I don't really hate cooking,
And I am definitely not bad at it when I try my hand.
I don't love it though...
It is not to me a creative outlet like others I know.

Mostly, I just don't see the point in making all that effort,
And taking the trouble to prepare dinner for one.
Its easier, quicker, more efficient,
To exist on frozen dinners and takeout.
Than deal with the mound of dishes and clean-up,
Not to mention expended energy and thought,
That preparing a meal requires.

But I have been trying to eat home more often,
And not just by subsisting on ready to eat meals,
But occasionally making the effort to cook for myself.
So, a dinner of pasta with the asparagus worked out really well.

The sauce was an invention-based on the ingredients in my fridge,
And the vagaries of my taste buds.
Not spicy enough-okay, lets add some hot sauce.
Not quite the right texture-a spoonful of soy sauce.
And so on.
The lack of mushrooms in my pantry was sad,
But I made do, and my meal was excellent and satisfying.

Simple as such. But it took time to make.
There were veggies to chop.
Dishes/utensils/implements to wash.
But I actually did derive some pleasure from the process,
And I don't mean just the eating.
A sense of satisfaction and achievement lingered,
Long after I had made and consumed my meal.
I surely will not do it every night.
But I will no longer scoff at those who extol the virtues of cooking either!

Bewitched, Bothered, Bewildered

Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered Am I.
An old standard, a song covered by numerous great singers over the years.
A song that has been running through my head, the last couple months.
Countless other songs apply-a lot of Abba, especially given my repeated watching of the new movie Mamma Mia!
Pierce Brosnan and Meryl Streep in "Winner Takes it All"
Reduced me to tears.
Each element separately was powerful enough...
That song has always been a tear-jerker;
Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan epitomize the one major love affair of my life to date.
(I never imagined that my favorite actor and one of the greatest actresses of my time would essay roles that I see as close to my reality!
But hey, not a bad way to go, surely).

I have been spiraling into a situation I have no right to.
But this is the one person I could never deny.
To be told I am "the one" is gratifying.
Still, there are soo many complications:
Taboos, Entanglements, Emotions, Worries...
That I am more than a little scared of where its going,
Not to mention how its going to turn out.

It has a feeling of inevitability--years in the making,
And with more years ahead before it may come to fruition, if at all.
Despite conflicting emotions and partial guilt,
I am not able/willing/capable of shutting the door.
Instead, I am just taking things as they come...
And praying really hard that I don't get hurt (once again).

PS: Too late for that-I have been hurt once again, because I fell for the BS once again.
But the same feeling of inevitability that came along with the rekindling of the relationship,
Tags along at this most recent demise of it. That too, has not changed. Just like the man,
Has not, Will not, Can Not.