Bewitched, Bothered, Bewildered

Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered Am I.
An old standard, a song covered by numerous great singers over the years.
A song that has been running through my head, the last couple months.
Countless other songs apply-a lot of Abba, especially given my repeated watching of the new movie Mamma Mia!
Pierce Brosnan and Meryl Streep in "Winner Takes it All"
Reduced me to tears.
Each element separately was powerful enough...
That song has always been a tear-jerker;
Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan epitomize the one major love affair of my life to date.
(I never imagined that my favorite actor and one of the greatest actresses of my time would essay roles that I see as close to my reality!
But hey, not a bad way to go, surely).

I have been spiraling into a situation I have no right to.
But this is the one person I could never deny.
To be told I am "the one" is gratifying.
Still, there are soo many complications:
Taboos, Entanglements, Emotions, Worries...
That I am more than a little scared of where its going,
Not to mention how its going to turn out.

It has a feeling of inevitability--years in the making,
And with more years ahead before it may come to fruition, if at all.
Despite conflicting emotions and partial guilt,
I am not able/willing/capable of shutting the door.
Instead, I am just taking things as they come...
And praying really hard that I don't get hurt (once again).

PS: Too late for that-I have been hurt once again, because I fell for the BS once again.
But the same feeling of inevitability that came along with the rekindling of the relationship,
Tags along at this most recent demise of it. That too, has not changed. Just like the man,
Has not, Will not, Can Not.