Great Expectations?

I learned very early in life not to expect what I am trying to get - but only hope to get it, and do everything in my power to do so. Unfortunately, I have not been able to apply the same principle to my relationships. The first time around, I expected nothing, but made the mistake of not trying to get what I wanted either, and ended up giving a lot more than I got. It was passive acceptance, and I was grateful for every little joy. Not a bad thing in itself, until you realise that not trying to get what you want just makes the other person take you for granted. Not to mention that *just giving* is emotionally draining.

In the last one it was kind of the opposite - I expected a lot, yet did nothing to try and get it. Nor did I give anything I wasn't getting. I wouldn't say I was the only one with expectations in the relationship, or even the one with more expectations. But it doesn't matter. The point is, to get something you have to give something first, and I failed to do that.

Now, I know this is sounding contradictory. But it's not. All I'm saying is - give your best, but don't expect anything in return; try getting what you want, but don't expect it. And when you do get it, appreciate it. What you do when you don't depends on how critical it is to your happiness. And this is where the lack of expectation becomes most important - because when you expect too much, even getting more than enough can look like way too little.