Friday, October 29, 2010

transitioning

So, at the behest of a dear friend now living afar,
I started a Live Journal account.
Its pretty much the same as this blog, only that those who are my friends on it, can view my various rants and yammers.
And as of now, she's my only friend there.
After all, I only joined up to see her updates.
Missing her and her little girl as I do,
Having got used to seeing and talking to them multiple times a week.
So, I wonder, what it is that has stopped me from thus far posting on LiveJournal.
Have been on there for a couple weeks.
Its not like there's nothing to say.
In point of fact, there is a good amount of stuff to share.
Stories and excitement she would have loved to hear first hand and which I would have called and regaled her with,
Or more likely demanded a face to face outing,
Had she still lived in my town.
Is it the all-encompassing ennui that keeps me from writing,
Starting something new?
I am apparently having a LOT of trouble with beginning or finishing stuff these days.
Wonder what my deal is?
What grad student does not procrastinate?
What writer does not experience that notorious and dreaded feeling of writer's block?
But this goes beyond.
What's giving me pause here?
Is that if I actually put down in words what's going on,
It makes it both real and open for discussion?
Or do I fear the consequences of things just maybe going awry?
I think its time to just bite the bullet...
And get a-writing, a-sharing, a-talking...

Monday, October 18, 2010

Questioning

Fast-Slow-Forward-Backward,
Doubt creeping in.
Late, later than expected.
Missing in the early stages.
Setting in months later.
What can it mean?
Is it me?
Is it the situation?
Don't know, not sure.
It seemed a sure thing.
Now I can't tell anymore...