Not Today

Toby,

yesterday you asked me why I went out with you. Well, here are some of the reasons why:

It wasn't because of your money. It was because you work hard for it even though you don't have to. Because of the drive and ambition and the focus you have shown in getting what you want. Because of the persistence and dedication you have shown in making things work.

It wasn't because of the places you took me to when we went out to eat. It was because you got those burgers for me at 5 in the afternoon, even before I told you that I hadn't eaten all day. Because you stood in the heat to buy us kebabs and told me to wait in the car, even though I know you hate it. Because you ate standing, so I could sit.

It wasn't because we went on drives. It was because in today's day and age you felt bad about jumping a red light. Because you'd take me even when you didn't feel like driving, just to be with me a little longer. Because you drove me to my new place and carried my stuff even though you were so tired.

It wasn't because you brought me such beautiful roses. It was because you remembered to bring me a packet so I wouldn't have trouble taking them past the landlady when going home.

It wasn't because of your body. It was because of the way your hands held my face when you kissed me. Because of the way you put your arms around me and wouldn't let go. Because you used your body to protect me, even if all you were protecting me from was beer.

And it wasn't because of your good looks. It was because of the look I saw in your eyes when you were with me.

Yesterday you asked me if I wanted to marry you, and I said no. And you said you'd got your answer. And you were right, you did. But darling, you got the question wrong. What you should have asked is, whether I wanted to not marry you.

But that was yesterday.

Jacey