Of love and support

Written November 2010
Will you defend me always?
Its a question I never even imagined asking of you.
I took it for granted, given who you are, what we have become, and what you mean to me.
But given recent conversation,
Your amusement and bewilderment at my reaction
To your friend's continued questioning of us as a couple.
His telling you that you can do better, that I'm not good enough...
And your not even thinking to rise to my defense.
Keeping quiet, because you see it as his not knowing any better, and not knowing me.
You don't take him seriously, you don't think very highly of him in general, I know.

I understand where you're coming from, I do.
Its a 15 year friendship; the two of you have known each other a long time.
Yet, don't I deserve to have your protection?
Haven't I earned that right by now?
I am not asking, as many have told me to do,
That you stop talking to him or are no longer friends.
I don't need that or even want it.
I am not an ultimatum sort of person.
Its me or him is just too dramatic a stance for me.
But you could at least tell him to shut it.
Not listen or remain silent when he continues to trash me.
Saying "don't take me wrong" or "I want what's best for you"
Is no excuse for him to be able to get away with the stuff he's pulling.
I forgave it the first instance,
Putting it down to his lack of polish and class.
But no friend, no real friend, would continue to demean a man's girlfriend, refuse to accept as a couple two people who are committed to each other.
And for what reason?
Because he does not like the way I look and thinks you can do better.
What kind of friend is he; what kind of person?
And why don't you see that its just plain wrong that he is behaving this way?

I met him once, that experience is enough.
Him, his wife, his kids, whom I would have made an effort to get to know as your friends.
That will not happen now.
His continued verbalized negativity means he is persona non grata for me,
But you are and will always be free to have the relationship you want with him.
You've told me to say when I am upset or angry at you, and tell you what to do to fix it.
But in this instance, I cannot do it.
You need to feel it, want to protect me.
Fat or big or whatever I am,
I don't deserve to be thus maligned and no one should be allowed to speak of me to you as he has...