Easy

Is it supposed to be easy?
Is it supposed to be comfortable and natural?
Is it weird to not be nervous or on your best behavior?
Is it right that I am just myself, unconsciously so even?
That I've shared more than I would normally have?
More than I've shared with anyone but long time dear friends?

Really:
Is there such a thing as *the one*?
Can you tell when its *real*?
Does a bell ring someplace in the back of your head?
Certainly no choirs are singing or full orchestras playing!
But it just feels right, and nice.
Is that a good thing? A bad thing? The right thing?
I really don't know.

What I do know is that it makes me both scared and giddy.
Its always a leap of faith to get involved with someone.
Add long distance, different time zones, never having met in person.
It seems slightly insane to even consider that this is something.

Someone who sees through the surface,
Sees beyond the cheeriness and chattiness.
Who manages to get to the inner me.
Who says what he feels,
Who is direct and forthright,
Who is responsive, gentle, sweet, kind.

Who laughs at my chatter,
Who makes me smile,
When I think of him or a conversation had,
An email exchanged.
Remembering a particular look on his face,
When I tease.

Never had this comfort before,
Its always been hard work.
Guessing as to the other's thoughts.
Mind games, insecurities abounding.
Feeling the need to put on a show.

I need this someone in my life.
In whatever capacity works out.
He makes me feel secure and warm.
He brings me something I cannot describe well.
A feeling I'd like to hold on to and keep around.
Here's to hoping that happens,
And until then, just basking in its glow!